Travelling with a baby... And other things to do in Orihuela, Spain

Before she'd even had her six-week check up, my daughter had her passport delivered. As a fetus/baby who'd been on three international trips before she'd even officially entered the world, it's not surprising eh. Hey, this whole blog started as a place to document my travels, so would you expect any different than my daughter being ready to go international at a moment's notice?! 

Thinking of travelling with a baby? Here are my top tips. 

Consider anything ‘baby’ specific 

My girl was three-turning-four months old on this first trip abroad; apparently a great age for travel. Not too tiny, or with me still being in the early stages of post partum; but not needing to carry bag upon bag of food, endless entertainment, or a super strict routine. 

However, there is still stuff to consider that you wouldn't if you were not travelling with a baby. For example, how will you feed them on the plane? If formula fed, will you take formula from home, or risk trying them on something similar in the new location? What are the car seat laws in the destination you're travelling to? Do you need to pack a steriliser?

Do a dry run of a staycation 

If you can, do a dry run before your holiday. This could be as simple as a stay at a grandparents house or a staycation in the UK - we did a combo of both, heading to the Kent coast. Two of the three paramount lessons I learnt on this holiday dry run were 1) baby girl’s stomach didn't get on with something in the self sterilising bottles, and 2) pack as many spare clothes for me as her. These were lessons learnt in tandem after a night feed sick that left me with a wet shoulder and smelling like stale milk until morning. The third lesson was that, despite all the cute outfits we'd packed, baby spent most of her time in vests, sun hats and wrapped in a muslin when a shady spot was unavailable. So go hard on the vests! I definitely learned how to look after baby in the heat and when not just at home; something I was apprehensive about.

Pack your carry on accordingly

Aside from my headphones, portable charge, mints, phone, and our passports, my carry on consisted of:

• 3x baby outfits: 1x ‘England’ spare outfit, in case of sicks/poops, plus 2x ‘Spain’ outfits to account for the vast temperature difference, and a spare 

• 1x Mummy spare outfit: in case of baby sick, not Mummy sick, FYI

• Nappies: enough for a full day, in case of delays or lost luggage

• Wipes: both baby wipes for her, and Dettol wipes for cleaning our seating area/baby changing facilities 

• 3x dummies: spares are essential in case of dropping 

• Muslins 

• Milk: enough bottles, in case of delay* 

• Changing mat  

• A toy 

• Birth certificate - If you have a different surname to your child and not travelling with the parent who shares the name, it’s advised you walk with your birth certificate too. 

In the end, I didn't use half of what I packed, but Sods Law, if I didn't have it, we'd have needed it. 

With most airlines, you get two pieces of ‘baby furniture’ included as part of your ticket. I had my buggy base, and car seat attachment (which can also be used as a buggy seat), which we used all the way to the gate. I also had my baby carrier with me to body wear her when we disembarked, as you don't often get your buggy back until baggage reclaim.

*I didn't want to use the plane’s water in her bottles, so pre-made them all before travelling to the airport - some hot, some cold - and kept them in a foiled/cool bag. At security, take out the bottles from the bag, and pop them in the tray next to your 100ml liquids. In UK airports, they will test them (in a very techy, sterile machine), and you'll be on your way. It's no more faff than having your bag checked at security when you've forgotten a liquid in your bag.

Have support around 

This holiday to Orihuela, Alicante, was with my parents and one of my brothers - with my uncle and aunt joining on the last day like a holiday relay race - so I consistently had people around me. They were such a phenomenal support during the day, and my mum even offered to help with the night wake ups, but I declined - it was their holiday too, so it didn't seem fair. My family willingly coordinated swimming with taking care of my girl, so we could all get a turn each day, and seeing their bonds get stronger with my daughter made my heart burst. 

We were also staying in my grandparents’ house, which meant I could organise things like a travel cot ahead of time. To be honest, given the state of statutory maternity pay, this whole trip is down to family support and help - I wouldn't have been able to take it otherwise. 

Accept this holiday might be different than your usual ones…

Despite employing a fair balance of chilling and sightseeing on holiday in recent years, I'm still known in my family for packed holidays of seeing everything an area has to offer. This isn't possible with a baby; we slowed things right down. Even super long hours laying by the pool were reduced, as I had to be mindful of protecting my child from the heat, sun, and mosquitos. This was proven by it being my first summer holiday in the longest while where I've not got a heat rash from being in the sun too long! Bonus!

We still went sightseeing though, heading into Murcia city centre for the day. We visited the Catedral de Murcia, and Museo de Santa Clara, both of which were absolutely gorgeous - and the latter seemed to have lots of sightseers with babies. Who knew those under 1s had such an interest in historical palaces-cum-monestries?! We even got to see the Pink Lake of Torrevieja on our drive back to the airport.

It can quite overwhelming for a little baby to see and do lots of new things every single day though, resulting in that overtired cry before bedtime (IYKYK), so while it might be nice to go out every day and evening as an adult, I wanted some low stimulating days and evenings in for my daughter too.

Also - I guess much like when I used to fill my days abroad with sightseeing - you will be tired on the holiday with a baby so young, even with a great sleeper like mine. In the days, I'm exerting energy swimming laps; in the nights, I'm awake at various points for feeding my bub. 

… But you can still enjoy the best of holiday life 

I would be tired from the wake ups at home anyway, except in Spain, I got to do it with far better weather, palm trees, outdoor swimming, and relaxed days without the daily rigmarole. My daughter is definitely an outdoor girl too; she slept better and ate more than at home after gazing at the bright colours and hearing the sounds of summer in Spain, and generally just being in the restorative Spanish air. We played cards with the family (her and I on the same team obvs), and I ate post-swim Lays and olives, and generally just enjoyed holiday life. I adapted plans a little - for example taking my dip at La Zenia Beach earlier in the morning than I'd normally do, before the sun was at its hottest, to protect my girl from the excessive heat. 

We dined out on multiple evenings, feasting on the classic Spanish fare in various restaurants - hello, seafood paella, patatas bravas, and Gambas pil pil - as well as other cuisines. We headed to different spots, like La Zenia Boulevard, for food and shopping, and Villa Martin for a dinner, and to watch Arsenal game (not my choice lol). I always joke that my daughter likes to look at cocktails while she enjoys her ‘milkerita’, and a restaurant ended up giving us a wine glass to warm her bottle in - a milkerita for true! I didn't love that strangers, although well meaning, kept wanting to touch my child though. I know she's cute, but please admire from a distance!

Record the moments 

At home, my fiance calls me paparazzi due to the amount of photos I take of our daughter. And I will admit, I have probably taken the same amount of photos in the last few months as I took in the last few years prior. I was even worse on this trip! However, I wanted to remember every bit of this holiday, as it felt so special. I want to show her when she grows up. I wanted to capture how her little face lights up as she sees the deep green palm trees sway, or the striking blue pool water ripple. I wanted to immortalise the growth of the bonds developing between her, and her grandparents, and one of her uncles (only one of her uncles was on this trip; she's not playing favourites haha) as they strengthened before my eyes. Hey, I captured her glee at playing cards on my lap simply because it was so damn cute. 

Try not to worry too much 

I am always a bit of a worrier; and my main concerns for this trip were the flights and the mosquitos. However, try not to worry too much. In terms of the flights, on the flight out, my daughter slept all but the last 15 mins and just drank her bottle as we descended. No tears. On the way back, she did absolutely scream her bedtime scream during take off, but after five to ten minutes, she settled into a sleep until we landed and woke her in our movement to disembark. As someone who is usually very anxious in take off and turbulence, I can honestly say this is the first time in decades that I didn't feel the take off, as I was in full mum mode, trying to soothe my child (who my mum held on both flights due to my anxieties around takeoff and turbulence). It's really true: mama bear mode is all encompassing. 

As for the mosquitos, just be prepared and take the right precautions. On our first day, I got 5 mosquito bites on my legs, with a few others added later in the holiday; however, my daughter got no bites the whole trip, thanks to the mosquito net I'd brought for her buggy, and dressing her in longer cool clothes/covering her arms in a muslin when in a t-shirt outdoors. I shifted between the anti-mosquito plug-ins and having the Aircon on in the bedroom to keep them at bay too. It isn't recommended that children sleep too close to plug-ins though, so just be mindful of that.

If you'd have told me ahead of time I'd have to change my daughter’s nappy in the car (parked - and technically my mum did it) or on my hands and knees in regular bathroom (clean; on her changing mat that I always bring), I'd have been worried, but in the moment when these things happened, we did it as best we could for both. Motherhood is all about adapting. I'm glad I had my own mummy both times though, haha.

I am so so glad I took this trip; it has been so incredibly special to spend this time abroad with my daughter - though I did miss her dad even more than I usually do when I holiday without him. I guess it's different now that I have our child with me too. However, I wouldn't trade the time we had on this trip for the world. My daughter has grown in so many ways over the trip - from quite literally in weight and length to new little habits (she did her first ever belly laugh giggle out here!). As mentioned earlier, her bond has grown with my parents and my youngest brother. The hugest thank you to many family members who made this trip happen with their differing contributions. My parents in particular made sure my girl and I wanted for nothing, and we had the most special time.

20 things I learnt in the first month of being a mum

Transitioning from a pregnant woman to a mother of one has been a huge adjustment. A magical, overwhelming, exciting, scary, adoring, can’t-believe-how-blessed-I-am adjustment. It really is the most life-changing and fragile period.

As such, I’ve encountered many new thoughts and experiences in my first month of being a mum, and I’ve learnt A LOT. Below is everything I learnt in the first month of being a mum… wellllll, most things. Hey, “everything I learnt in the first month of being a mum that I remembered to jot down in my notes app, blurry eyed from the newborn bubble” doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it?

About babies…

1. Babies are noisy sleepers

Babies will grunt, cry out, wriggle, reach out, and more in their sleep. This was such a shock to me; I was jumping up to tend to her the first few nights to find out that she was properly asleep still. Whoever coined the phrase “sleep like a baby” clearly had never had a baby. They do sleep up to 19 hours a day in the first few weeks though, so maybe that’s what they meant?

2. Burping a baby takes the patience of a saint

And when you get that burp, you’ll feel like you’ve won the lottery!

3. Sneezing and congestion as a newborn is normal

Especially for a c-section baby, who hasn't… erm… had the fluids squeezed out of them during birth. I was SO paranoid my daughter was ill or couldn't breathe in the night!

4. Their farts can cause them pain… but it’s okay

I felt so helpless seeing my daughter cry when passing wind; but it’s totally normal with their immature digestive systems. If it becomes more concerning though, speak to your health visitor and they can advise on what you can do.

5. Babies can't regulate their own temperature

So, you’ll spend ages over-analysing what your child is wearing to sleep/go out/watch EastEnders on the sofa, especially in those first couple of weeks.

6. Like vampires, baby's shouldn't be in direct sunlight until a year old 

Hats, parasols, your hand will all become your best friend to protect their delicate skin.

7. Babies can’t drink tap water

Which, for a human that hiccups a lot, surprised me! They also can’t eat honey (not that they’d be doing that in the first month anyway; you start to wean at around six months).

8. Babies will lose weight after birth

‘Getting back to birth weight’ is something you’ll hear at your day 5 and day 10 community midwife appointments (and further along with the health visitor if baby isn’t back to birth weight by then, I imagine); it’s totally normal for them to lose weight in the first few days Earthside.

9. Put the ‘frilly bits’ outside the nappy

A hot tip from a fellow mum, make sure you fold the frilly bits of the nappy around the legs outwards. This should (but not always!) help prevent a nappy leak.

10. So many anxiety-inducing things that happen to a baby in the first month are actually totally normal

I feel like I prepared a lot for birth, but not for what came after, and as a result, anything that changed day to day would have me on high alert. However, after asking my partner/mum/mum friends/Google “is this normal?”, every single concern I had this month about baby came back “yes, it is normal”.

About motherhood…

11. Motherhood will reveal an innate ability to create songs at the drop of a hat

Morning, noon, or night, I somehow come up with multiple jingles a day. Ask me to freestyle pre-birth, and I would have froze. Get me to that karaoke booth, stat!

12. The hormone drop in the first fortnight is very real

You will experience a massive hormone drop at some point in the first fortnight, and boy, it’ll crash hard. Mine came on day 9, which, unfortunately, coincided with my first time solo parenting, and I literally cried all day long. It’s totally normal though, and you’ll feel much better in a day or two.

13. You will simultaneously have more time than you think, and less time than you think

Babies sleep a lot in the first month, so you’d think “hey, in the absence of work, I’ll have a lot of free time.” On some days, this felt true: once a week during nap times I’d wash my hair (I finally did my curly hair routine for the first time post-birth when my daughter was three week old), or write a blog post like this one while baby girl is with her dad downstairs.

A lot of the time though, nap times will fly by in a blur of sterilising, clothes washing, brushing one’s teeth, pumping milk, general life admin that needs to be done. Don’t get me started on “sleep when the baby sleeps”; this does happen sometimes, but can’t happen all the time! Also, sometimes, you’d rather do something for yourself during that nap time than sleep.

14. Breastfeeding is really f-ing hard

I’ve got another blog post on this in the works, so I won’t go too heavy here, but it really isn’t as simple as putting baby to your breast, and they’ll drink. It feels like the biggest myth of child bearing. There is so much to contend with, like latching, milk supply, building milk supply (which takes a lot of commitment), soreness, engorgement…

15. Spilling breastmilk feels like the worst thing ever in the world

Leading on from the point above, because of the strife, spilling breastmilk can literally feel like you’ve been sent to hell.

16. There is such a sisterhood in motherhood

I can’t remember if I saw this on a reel, a Netflix show, or in a soap (lol, my brain is tired, okay): “motherhood is the least original experience.” What they meant is that if you’re experiencing something, it’s very very likely another 100+ mothers have too.

I don’t live too close to my friends or family, but since giving birth, many female friends/acquaintances/former colleagues/even a former course mate from university who have children themselves have reached out with supportive words and anecdotes. I have also found myself in a Facebook group for first-time mums in the UK, and see daily comments and conversations of solidarity.

I have to give a special shout out to two mums in particular: a former line manager (and since friend) of mine and a current colleague in Spain, both of whom gave birth themselves this year, and have been my absolute lifelines when it comes to all things ‘first time mum’.

17. Your mother instincts may take a hot second to come in

Much like breastfeeding, a common myth perpetuated in life is that as soon as you give birth, your mothering instincts will kick in. For some, perhaps it will, but for a lot of us, it’ll take a hot second. While I felt an instant need to protect and care for my daughter, and that I loved this little cute human, I didn’t feel instantly like I knew her, or how to care for her. If I’m honest, my body felt on high alert, in fight or flight mode, for at least the first fortnight. It’s only now in the last week or two that I feel totally comfortable being solely responsible for her at home, and that I’m actually finding my feet as a mother.

18. This love is totally different to anything you’ll have every felt before

Everyone has always said this: the love you feel for your child is inexplainable, and you have to experience it to understand. I finally get it. I cannot put into words the innate, complex, all-encompassing love I feel for my daughter, but it’s the most powerful feeling I’ve ever felt.

19. You will crave some time to yourself, but then miss your child or feel mum guilt when you get it

Despite really wanting to paint my nails or write blog posts like this, I miss my daughter when I’m doing these things. I want to go and check on her, and cuddle her, even though she’s perfectly fine with her dad downstairs. I also am constantly thinking “maybe I should be pumping milk, instead of doing this” or “I shouldn’t waste this bonding time with her while she’s awake on something less important.” Forget ‘Velcro baby’, maybe I’m a ‘Velcro mum’!

20. Your body isn’t just your body anymore - but that isn’t a bad thing

It can feel like a lot when your body is still in pain weeks after giving birth, or hurts from feeding baby, but remember, ultimately, your body is now also someone else’s safe place, their ground zero, their home. It’s where they lived for nine months, where they can come back to (albeit on, rather than in, lol) when the big noisy world with all its sights and smells are too much.

Initially, I was very hard on my body, due to some of the circumstances surrounding my daughter’s birth, and my struggles with breastfeeding, but I realise, how can I criticise this vessel that literally brought life into the world, and continues to provide comfort to my most precious thing?

Also, and this probably isn’t very politically correct of me to say these days, but after being pregnant for nine months, you’ll feel the skinniest you’ve felt in ages haha! I wore a crop top, something I’d never have worn pre-pregnancy, to register my daughter’s birth!

About myself…

BONUS POINT. This month really has been the strangest of my life… and I’ve had some strange times in the last 30-odd years; however, ultimately, it has made me realise I am stronger than I know. Despite the crisis of confidence, despite the anxiety, despite the worries, my daughter and I are thriving at the end of month 1. I can’t credit that all to myself (my partner is phenomenal, I have a good support network, and my daughter herself is an absolute dream), but as Snoop Dogg says “last but not least, I want to thank ME!”

I built this little life with my very own body, I birthed her from my body, I continue to provide comfort for her with this body, still have it operate for me too, and do it all on a lot of broken sleep! Even as I type this though, and despite being pregnant for the best part of a year, I still can’t quite believe this human being grew and came out of my body?!

A final thought - though one I must admit I have poached from a friend, who reassured me when I had my day 9 hormone drop: reframe anything you’re worried about as 'mum bingo’. Everything is an opportunity to mark off another square on your mum bingo card. Solo parenting for a day? Ticked. Leaving her alone in her Moses basket while popping to the bathroom? All good. First poonami? Nailed ittttt (that was super gross though… how does poop get so high up?!)